Thursday 30 July 2009

Starting out on Yuwie

I signed up to the social networking site Yuwie this week. They say that they will pay you to blog, upload pictures, refer friends, chat, hang out, etc.

It's a bit annoying how many adverts come up before you get to see your profile page, and that logging in you have to skip about 4 adverts trying to sell/sign you up for products but once in its very simple. It's a lot like myspace, you can design the layout of your page and what you want on it and then you just blog away! I was confused the other day when I got an email saying I had been purchased??? But apparently this is a good thing and increases your rating.

I'm not sure how Yuwie works, but it is a learning progress and I will let you know how I get on. I'm only really posting up little blogs from this one really and any little funny ones I find on my travels.

If you're interesting in joining then click here and say Hey!

Anyone already on Yuwie?



Monday 27 July 2009

An Explanation Of Life

I was sent this today by a friend and thought it was another perfect post for here.

On the first day, God created the dog and said: ‘Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.’

The dog said: ‘That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?’

So God Agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

‘Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.’

The monkey said: ‘Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?’

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

‘You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.’

The cow said: ‘That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?’

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said:

‘Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.’

But the human said: ‘Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?’

‘Okay,’ said God, ‘You asked for it..’

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

Friday 24 July 2009

Butterfly Spotter

I have been watching out in our garden for butterflies and so far I've seen;

  • Small White
  • Small Copper
  • Small Skipper
  • Comma
Today, I managed to creep up on one that I hadn't really been able to have a proper look at and had only guesses on what it was. It was a beautiful Red Admiral. So pretty, made me feel kind of proud that it was in our garden. I did feel sad when I saw it fly away over the fence but an hour later it was back!

Hopefully if the weather stays good we will be off to Butterfly World next week, check out the website here


Thursday 23 July 2009

Did you hear about?

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet."

She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet.

He then announced, "These aren't my boots."

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

No sooner they got the boots off and he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em."

Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."


Up until I had my first panic attack, I knew very little about them. Sometimes, despite all our best efforts, we can suffer from the symptoms of panic or as they used to be call it "bad nerves".

The symptoms of panic can be:

  • Palpitations, pounding heart, or accelerated heart rate
  • Sweating
  • Trembling or shaking
  • Sensations of shortness of breath or smothering
  • Feeling of choking
  • Chest pain or discomfort
  • Nausea or abdominal distress
  • Feeling dizzy, unsteady, lightheaded, or faint
  • Feelings of unreality
  • Fear of losing control or going crazy
  • Fear of dying
  • Numbness or tingling sensations
  • Chills or hot flashes

After my first one a few years ago I was extremely worried about what was happening to me. But gradually over time I learnt ways to cope with them.

When you start to panic over something the body releases adrenaline into your blood and this puts you on a high state of alert. This triggers your fight or flight system. When this panic reaction happens we need a little "first aid" to break the cycle of panic before you start to address the cause of what brought you to feeling like this. I view panic attacks as your mind and body's way of telling you something about the way you think has to change.

I have read and been told a lot of advice about how to cope with them and these are some of the suggestions that seem to work;

Abdominal breathing

When you feel panic your breathing becomes faster and shallower and abdominal breathing is the exact opposite of this. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen. When you take a deep breath in, the hand on the abdomen should rise higher than the one on the chest. This makes sure that the diaphragm is pulling air into the bases of the lungs. After exhaling through the mouth, take a slow deep breath in through your nose to the count of 5. Hold it for 3 seconds and then breath out to a count of 5. Repeat this cycle until you feel you have calmed down.

Distract yourself

When you feel panic it is your thoughts that actually cause the panic, a cycle of scary thoughts but only thoughts. These thoughts trigger the fight or flight system in the body which then triggers the symptoms of panic. When you are trapped in this cycle you could try to distract yourself and therefore break the cycle of thoughts. This can be done by picking up the phone and talking to someone, playing a video game, watching a favourite movie or TV show, going for a brisk walk, writing about your feelings in a journal – basically anything that will distract your mind from the panic thoughts.

Comfort yourself

While applying the above also try and comfort yourself. Have a long hot soak in the bath, eat your favourite food, drink some warm milk. Don't drink alcohol this will put your body under more stress. Ask for a hug from someone you love, go for a long leisurely walk or swim. Do something you enjoy that will bring a smile to your face and comfort your soul.

For me, my favourite end of cycle is to distract myself. I will start from the beginning of a song and will sing it from start to finish, I normally don't have to get to the end but I don't ever let myself think that I won't. I was reminded of this the other day and that sometimes I would be spotted at work, in the stockroom occupying myself putting things away whilst singing. Everyone knew not to interrupt me, except sometimes I would perhaps pick a song that was too difficult and a little voice from the other side of the room used to help with the lyrics!

The other thing I was reminded by the same friend was that these symptoms are nothing more than feelings and that feelings no matter how unpleasant cannot hurt you.

Do you have any other ways of dealing with "panics"?



My Favourite iPhone Applications

I absolutely love my iPhone and thought I'd share with you my

favourite applications.

1. Tweetdeck - Tweet on the go with all your favourite TweetDeck features on your iPhone. TweetDeck is your mobile browser for staying in touch with what's happening now on Twitter from your iPhone or iPod Touch. TweetDeck shows you everything you want to see at once, so you can stay organised and up to date no matter where you are. Create groups, search Twitter, manage multiple accounts and easily post your tweets or share photos, link and much more. Plus sync your existing TweetDeck columns between your desktop and iPhone. Nice and easy.

2. IM+ - Skype™ chat and Twitter! Chat in AIM®/iChat, MSN®/ Windows Live™ Messenger, Yahoo!®, ICQ®, Jabber®, Google Talk™, MySpaceIM, Facebook with no cost per message! The first Push-enabled Twitter app in App Store.

3. Remote - is a free application that turns iPod touch and iPhone into a remote control for iTunes and Apple TV. Be a mobile DJ. With Remote, you can control iTunes on your computer or on Apple TV from your iPod touch or iPhone. Play, pause, skip, shuffle. See your songs, playlists and album art. Update to iTunes 8 and you can create a Genius playlist or edit an existing playlist. And do it all on your iPod touch or iPhone as if you were right in front of your computer. Remote works with your Wi-Fi network, so you can control playback from anywhere in and around your home

4. Flight Control - is a delightful action/strategy game for iPhone and iPod Touch that is as simple as it is wickedly addictive. Touch and drag your aircraft to their landing zones, and avoid mid-air collisions. It sounds easy, but as more and more planes arrive you will need smart strategy, keen eyes and a smooth steady-as-she-goes touch!

5. Harbor Master - Are you a natural leader? Do you take charge with a steady hand and an eagle eye? You should be a Harbor Master! As the Harbor Master in a busy harbor, you direct ships in - and out! - of a busy harbor. Dock your ships, unload their cargo, and then guide them back out safely so the next ship can dock. As you unload more and more cargo, your expert services will be requested at other ports. But be careful - every port has its own set of challenges! Watch out for the cyclones!

6. Wikipanion - Wikipanion is the best and fastest Wikipedia browsing application for the iPhone.

7. Fieldrunners - is a tower defense game for the iPhone and iPod Touch. Fieldrunners has been nominated for several iPhone application awards.

8. Stanza - is a free application for your iPhone and iPod Touch. Use it to download from a vast selection of over 100,000 books and periodicals, and read them right on your phone. It's a wireless electronic library that stays open 24/7.

9. Sky News - Browse the day's top stories or choose one of our categories bringing you the latest UK News, Sport, Business, World News, Showbiz and Strange News headlines. You can also get a quick news update with the handy three-minute video bulletin.

10. Backgrounds - Backgrounds may have you on sensory overload. There are more than 1000 different background images to choose from. All of which are beautiful high resolution images. If you don't see anything that fits your fancy, visit the developer's website and add your own. Backgrounds loads up fairly quickly and gives users three options. Choose between popular backgrounds, recently added backgrounds, or a variety of categories from nature to buildings, patterns and sports. Find one you like and save it directly to your phone.

What are your favourite iPhone Applications?



Tuesday 21 July 2009

One Tree Hill Quotes: Quentin's Death

Voiceover by new character Samantha Walker, her essay on how she felt about Quentin's death.

"Quentin Fields was a basketball player. He was also a son. A brother. Somebody's teammate. Somebody's friend. I never knew Quentin Fields and I guess now I never will.

Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore? If you were suddenly gone how would your world react? Whatever you imagined was wrong. There's nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the ocean: it's deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love.

I didn't know Quentin Fields but I'm jealous of him because I see how his absence has affected the people that did know him so I know that he did matter to them. And I know he was loved. People say Quentin Fields was a great basketball player. Graceful. Fluid. Inspiring. They say on a good night it almost seemed as though he could fly. And now he can

Also in Haley's class when she asks who wrote a "we will miss you" note on Quentin's desk she takes the marker pen away from the culprit and writes her own message;

"He who does not weep does not see"

From Les Miserables.

Laughter is the best medicine!

I got sent this today and thought it was perfect to put down in my blog, they say laughter really is the best medicine!

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Avoid arguments with the Mrs about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and it does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

Thoughts for the day

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

Be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.


Tee Hee!


Monday 20 July 2009

Taking note...

Do you use a notebook?

A friend suggested that I got one and now I can't live without it! Here's what I write in mine -

1 - Ideas for my blog- titles, ideas, draft copies of posts

2 - My idea for my story I'm writing - characters, plots, chapters

3 - Recipe Ideas I find - cupcakes mainly! Although I follow Jamie Oliver on twitter and he's always posting pictures of what he's cooked so I'm always getting recipes from his website

4 - Tips for fish care - any handy tips I read or hear. Currently researching live plants for my tank

5 - Butterfly list - Jot down any butterflies I see in the garden. On the look out for a painted lady (very rare)

6 - Things to do list - hate looking at this list sometimes to see how much I haven't done!

7 - Songs I hear to later buy, recommended films and TV programmes to watch

8 - My fantasy football and formula one teams

9 - Doodles - always doodling! It's the nearest I get to fine art!

10 - Any quotes I read or hear.

What do you write in yours?



Friday 17 July 2009

Do you know which side of the brain you use the most?

It is commonly thought that one side of our brain is more dominant than the other. Some people are left brain dominant and others are right brain dominant. Some rare people, such as Leonardo Da Vinci, can you use both equally.

It can be very useful to work out which side of your brain you use the most. It can help you understand yourself better and it can help you develop the side of your brain that is not dominant. Then you too could become like Da Vinci!

Have a look at the image above. If the girl above appears to be rotating clockwise then you are right brain dominant. If the girl appears to be rotating counter-clockwise then you are left brain dominant. If the girl seems to change the direction of her rotation from clockwise to counter clockwise then you are one of those rare individuals who use both side of their brain equally.

Left Brain:
Looks at parts

Right Brain:





Looks at wholes

Most individuals have a distinct preference for one of these styles of thinking. Some, however, are more whole-brained and equally adept at both modes.

Left-brain scholastic subjects focus on logical thinking, analysis, and accuracy. Left brains tend to choose careers in law, accounting or science.

Right-brained subjects, on the other hand, focus on aesthetics,feeling, and creativity. Rights select careers as entrepreneurs, athletes, sales, artists, musicians, craftsmen or dancers.

Post a comment here and let me know how the test worked for you!

Good Luck



The Charles Schultz Philosophy

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read straight through, and you'll get the point.
1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schultz)

Tuesday 14 July 2009

John Stamos on Twitter....

I nearly fainted!

Valebrity site confirmed @johnstamos is the real thing!
I've obviously been a big fan since he joined ER and of course his work with The Beach Boys.




One Tree Hill last night

So One Tree Hill last night kept us waiting to see just who was the funeral for...Quentin. At the end you see young hopeful basketball player Quentin getting shot at a petrol station. Poor Jamie who has grown ever fond of his new role model, and had made Quentin a cape just like the one he has.

Lucas and Peyton return with their engagement news to find a badly bruised Brooke who does not tell them about the attack at her store and instead says that she fell down the stairs. Brooke turns to the only person she knows who can help her, Deb. Brooke is now unconfident and is out for revenge for what happened to her. It's not clear if the attack has anything to do with her mother as the designs that she was just about to put forward were stolen during the attack. Of course her mother wanted those designs and she's a mean piece of work and nothing is beyond what she would do to get them. Deb a little bit side tracked by Jamie having seen her kissing Skills earlier in the day, arrives at Brooke's request to meet her and is totally shocked by the state of Brooke. Deb is told everything but is asked to not tell anyone about what really happened. Brooke asks if she still has her gun, and asks if Deb will show her how to use it. Of course with all the trouble with Dan she knows about revenge and the need for protection.

Speaking of Dan, he is still being kept hostage but now Carrie knows he doesn't have long left and was on the list for a heart transplant (his beeper went just as he was hit by her car!) so her plan for setting him up as the kidnapper of Jamie is now not looking promising.

Nathan and Haley are told by the doctor that Nathan's back might hold out for a few years but he could put himself back into a wheelchair for the rest of his life if he overdoes it. Nathan tells Haley he wants to be a husband and father before playing basketball, but basketball is all Nathan knows? He can't give it up? Can he?



Sunday 12 July 2009

So what have I been up to since I last posted...

Well the other blog is coming along day by day, don't want to rush it. I have managed to do a lot of planning for my story, which has really helped gain more focus about where it might be going.
I went to see Transformers (I found out the Transformer I had as a child was one of the Decepticons, the evil ones - says a lot really) Revenge of the Fallen which was amazing and could be pushing it's way into my top 10. Major criticism though was it was about 45 mins too long but the action scenes were truly spectacular. This has led me to sign up to Flixster, I haven't actually managed to write any reviews on it just yet but will hopefully do so this week.
The fish are well, have just bought some food tablets that stick to the inside of the aquarium as my oranda fish seem to dislike flake foods, my danio's love it though. Typical! Peas are a favourite enjoyed by all. All of them now come to see you when you look in on them, although they associate that with food is coming so they are left disappointed a lot!
Baking last week we made little chocolate fudge cakes, this week Button Cookies are on the agenda. I have a cupcake book arriving some time this week which will I'm sure bring new ideas for next week.
This week The Guardian ends and I will just have a once weekly fix of the lovely Simon Baker in the Mentalist! The 3rd series of the Wire is also coming to an end and will finish next Monday. Series 4 will take us further into the mayoral race from Series 3 and into the school system and a closer look at Stanfield's drug gang.
Everything in the garden is going well, tomatoes are nearly ready to turn red and be ready for picking/eating. Have put a tray of nasturtiums next to my lettuces and another big nasturtium next to my beans and peas to keep the blackfly away. Seems to be working, worked amazingly well last year. My Love In A Mist flowers have just started flowering; I have a mixture of white, blue and pink ones. I thought my poppy had died but got another 4 poppies over the weekend, I'm waiting for the poppy heads to go brown so I can de-seed them and plant again.
I have a programme clash this week where I'm glad for sky+ as Dragons Den is back and so is Who Do You Think You Are which follows Davina McCall in its season opener.
I also spotted a Small Copper butterfly in the garden at the weekend, hopefully will see some more in the next few weeks. Jonathan has seen a Small White butterfly in the front garden. In the next few weeks we will be visiting Butterfly World which looks amazing!
That's all for now


Wednesday 8 July 2009

Florence + The Machine Album Review

The eagerly awaited debut album from Florence + The Machine was finally released this week and it does not disappoint.

Florence Welch and her Machine (her backing band) have received critical acclaim already for their work. The BBC featured them on BBC Introducing, they played a successful slot at Glastonbury (on the John Peel Stage) and will later this year play at the Leeds and Reading festivals. They also won the Critic's Choice award at this year's Brit Awards, Adele won the award in 2008 who then went on to sell 1.2 million copies of her debut album. There is a rumour that they will win the Mercury Music Prize in September.

The first time I heard one of their songs was last Summer at a Indie club that my friend used to run, the song was "Kiss With A Fist" and immediately I was captured by her voice. The second single "Dog Days Are Over" did not disappoint, but I was more intrigued by the B- side "You've Got The Love". I have always been a fan of the original Source featuring Candi Staton version "You Got The Love", but this version gives new light into the song (and not just with the slight title change). I wasn't the only one to think this was a great song and deserved its own release and the following month after fans campaigned it was released. The latest single "Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)" is probably the best song to highlight her distinctive voice beautifully intertwined with strings, harps and drums.

The next single soon to be released is "Drumming", it's one of my favourites off the album, its beautifully written about what it feels like to be in love and again she uses full use of The Machine.

Florence + The Machines take you on a journey through this album, somewhere I'm not sure you'd want to come back from.



Tuesday 7 July 2009

Little bug(ger)

The same pesky little bug that took to eating most of my gerbera seedlings has taken vengeance again in the garden! This time with my lettuces, managed to save 2 of them luckily. I can report that my gerbera that I rescued is still doing very well, away from the bugs!

We now have pea pods, and the runner bean plants are flowering nicely. Still haven't got any red tomatoes yet, but have got little green ones starting to appear finally.

I had nearly given up on my love in a mist flowers, they had just been a bush of foliage really, but now there are white buds ready to flower.

Looks like it might rain again here


One Tree Hill is back......

So finally One Tree Hill came back and what a start!

Finally we know Lucas did call Peyton! But we all knew that right? Although there was this dream scene where Lucas celebrated a years anniversary with each of the choices; Brooke, Peyton and Lindsay. None of the dream scenes seemed bad and he seemed happy with each one so not really sure why he picked Peyton except that they always seemed destined to be together (such a geek!)

I was glad that they didn't have a quickie marriage in Las Vegas, just wait till everyone else knows they are engaged!

I had forgotten about Dan getting run over, I had suspected it was evil Carrie back again and driving the car. Now she has Dan imprisoned in her dad's old house and she wants his help to take Jamie.

At the end of the episode there was a shocking scene where Brooke is violently assaulted at her shop. Watching the preview for the next episode she seems ok but check out the bruises. Also there is a funeral scene; there were three people missing from the trailer-Mouth, Millicent and Quentin. Is it one of them?



Sunday 5 July 2009

One Tree Hill Quote "All you need is one"

Quote from TV Series One Tree Hill, Peyton Sawyer says

At this moment there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day; others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men at war with good, and some are good struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes...all you need is one.

The Week Ahead...

All I keep thinking about is that One Tree Hill is back tomorrow night (E4 at 9pm), so very excited! I have managed to avoid any of the spoilers for this series except that I obviously know that Chad Michael Murray (Lucas) and Hilarie Burton (Peyton) leave at the end of this series.

I will be making more cakes at some point this week, and definitely using the same icing recipe that I had used last week. I forgot about posting the recipe for the cakes I had made and will do that later this week too.

My book planning has slowed a little, I thought I was more than ready to start writing it but after much research I have realised I still have a little more planning to do. I've read its good to write a history for each of your characters, nothing too much but enough so you can start to really understand each of them better.

I cleaned out the fish tank again yesterday, Luke is definitely still the tank bully. He enjoys chasing the zebra danio's out of his way, I'm sure he thinks soon the others will leave and he will be left with his tank all to himself again. They got treats this week of bloodworms and brine shrimp, I read on the internet the worse it smells the better it is. This stuff I got must be the best as it really does smell out the place!

My lovely gerbera's that I have been growing, I only now have one left - some little or maybe a big bug ate the leaves on all the others. I have now safely placed the remaining plant on my room windowsill and it seems to be developing well. I knew that they were hard to grow and they really weren't kidding about that!

Also in the process of setting up another blog but this one is devoted to Brothers and Sisters (the TV programme). Will be a steady progress as I set it all up, at the moment it just has quotes on it but will soon have information on characters, seasons, the stars of the show and all the latest news.

The Ashes is on this week so this will take up most of my days towards the end of the week I will try to multi task!

On Friday it is the season finale of Dexter, the trailer for it looks good. Could Dexter be about to get a taste of his own making?

Write more soon


Saturday 4 July 2009

Louise Mason?

Sky One's latest TV series "Lie To Me" has intrigued me ever since the first episode was shown. This American TV series with British actor Tim Roth who plays Dr. Cal Lightman, an expert on body language whose firm (The Lightman Group) assist local and federal law enforcement organisations in crime investigations.

In Thursday night's episode "Depraved Heart", viewers were given their first insight into what made Lightman go into this line of work. On taking his daughter to school, they are stalled by a traffic jam which on closer inspection is the scene of a suicide. The police investigator admits that surprisingly this woman of Indian background had a sister who jumped to her death from the same bridge two days earlier, but tells Lightman there is no reason for him to get involve

However Lightman is determined to be involved and when his daughter Emily asks him “Didn’t you used to study suicides?” Lightman replies “Still do”.

We see Lightman
watching an old film tape of a woman telling someone off camera how fine she feels and how much she wants to be able to go home for the weekend to visit her family. It’s clear she’s a patient of some kind talking to her psychiatrist. Lightman’s colleague Ria Torres walks in, she makes a simple remark about the lady on film looking very sad. Lightman’s quiet response of “Yeah”, along with his quick shutting off the projector, alerts her that Lightman’s emotions are involved.

We know that Torres was abused by her father as a child and that's where she started reading faces. She would remember the looks on his face before he hurt her and she learned to expect when he would do it again.

Lightman's reaction to Torres'
natural ability has been a continuing theme since she was hired. He has been mentoring her but also at the same time has shown himself a little touchy about her own natural ability vs. his learnt skills. He pokes at her background trying to understand her natural ability, which has had a side effect that he’s not happy with – Torres is now equally interested in why Lightman studied lie detection. This suicide case raises questions in her mind about the nature of Lightman’s interest, and Loker (Eli Loker, researcher at the Lightman Group) tells her that Lightman has been obsessed with the woman on tape – Louise Mason – for years. Loker thinks that the woman was a patient of Lightman’s professor in his university days and she was the reason Lightman discovered micro-expressions. The woman had passed this interview based on this interview based on this tape but had killed herself over the weekend. Lightman had the idea to slow down the tape and when he did, he noticed the signs of agony everyone had missed.

(Dr. Gillian Foster, psychologist at the Lightman Group) who has been working on a separate case, offers to delay her own case and help Lightman. She is clearly worried about him but he won’t let her in. When Lightman’s daughter comes to have dinner with him and she wants to talk about suicide as someone in her school had committed suicide, he tells her she shouldn’t be thinking of things like that. He seems to be protecting her. Foster tells him that no matter how many times he finds an answer for why someone committed suicide, nothing will change. And it will still not be his fault. Foster is sure he is projecting his own guilt issues on this case, leaving us again to wonder who is Louise Mason?

Torres is certainly wondering, and she speaks to Foster, telling her she saw guilt on Lightman's face and wonders who Louise really was. Foster abruptly blocks her questions telling her "Just because you see everything doesn't mean you understand it". Foster is protecting him, but the question of understanding is taken up by Lightman later on. In Louise's time, no one knew about micro-expressions, so trained researchers had no way to pick up her despair. But Torres is not a trained researcher. Lightman asks her if she can see the agony on Louise's face and she admits she can. She says she's sorry, and Lightman tells her never to be sorry for something she sees. We see that Lightman is aware that a natural would have caught Louise's agony even in her time period. This case helps reveal the source of Lightman's tension over Torres' natural abilities and his own trained skills.

In the case, with a third suicide body found, the three girls are connected as they were all working as surrogates in terrible underground conditions for an immigration official. He is determined to get away with his crime but Lightman is adamant that he will pay for it. Lightman again reveals how far he will go to make a man pay as he pretends a friend of his is one of the dead girl's father who knows that his daughter called the immigration official shortly before she jumped. Lightman pushes the situation and the immigration official cracks and admits she did call him. He is charged with a "depraved heart" crime, which is an American legal term for a callous disregard for human life.

At the end of the episode we see Lightman at home with his daughter, he puts on the Louise Mason film and he remains serious as Emily recognises the woman to be her grandmother, his mother. He decides that keeping the suicide a secret is not actually helping his daughter, and she will come into contact with the issue whether he likes it or not. Of course, it also helps Emily to understand her father, something he is less comfortable with.

So we have more of an insight into Lightman, wonder if we will find out if he and Foster have a past?