Wednesday 5 November 2014

October...


It's pretty obvious now to look back and realise October was always going to be a sh*t month. See, it had normally been November that I struggled with. No particular reason but it was always tough. I'd always need extra time to meditate and generally I find myself more distracted or in a 'daydream state' in November.

The end of September was looking promising with me finding a good routine with meditation, I was running again and generally I felt good. Right at the end of September, I made the ultimate fail in running preparation and didn't warm up correctly so of course I got injured. I've only just started to get back into running again now, it felt like a massive step back from my restart. It did change my mood and generally I felt low in myself. The more I knew I couldn't run, the more I wanted to, the more it annoyed me.

Me... getting annoyed at not running? Weirdo.

From this start, October became all about putting out fires. Everything seemed to be coming at me and all I wanted to do was to get out and pound my feet along the street. I managed to ease myself back into bikram yoga again once my injury had eased slightly (I think I healed quicker because of stretching in the heat) and that helped a lot. It wasn't enough but it helped.

Turns out that October must have been my November this time around. It caught me off guard but maybe that's a better way to actually deal with it. The end of October saw moments that things might be changing for the better which gave me hope. The start of November has continued those moments too and it's of course better for me being able to get running again. Then there are the people who make it better just by not even knowing that they are doing it, that counts for a lot too.

At the beginning of October I couldn't see the wood for the trees but right now I really can see. Amazing what a month can do.