Guest Post: When the penny drops...

Image from HERE

Today Caribbean Princess is on my blog today as part of my blog swap series. She has her own blog; Musings of a Caribbean Princess and she has a particular love for filofaxes but she's chosen not to write about that for my blog, so anyway here's her piece;

When the penny drops...

Last August I lost my grandmother. It was totally unexpected. After all she was in extremely good health for her 87 years; her only problems were high blood pressure (controlled with medication) and a bit of arthritis.  To be honest, I had never really been close to her (she had a relatively strained relationship with my mother). Yet her death touched me in a way that her life had never done. And for some reason my world fell apart.

Suddenly I was forced to take a long, hard look at my life. Was I really doing what I wanted to do? Was I truly happy with my life?  Yes I was married to a lovely man. To all intents and purposes I was successful. But was I spending enough time with my family and loved ones? Or was I devoting too much of my time to pursuing my academic dreams at the expense of everything else? There were other aspects of my personality that I had ignored for a long time. For example I knew that I loved teaching, that I enjoyed encouraging and inspiring other people to pursue their dreams as much as I enjoyed doing it myself. I also love to laugh, as my wicked sense of humour allows me to find delight in the funny moments in my daily life. Finally it became so obvious to me. I had been starving the creative aspects of my personality for too long. There were so many thoughts in my head about life, love, achieving personal excellence, style, organization, honesty and truth which were all begging to be recorded and shared in some way. I realised that I had been sleepwalking through certain areas of my life. And that it was time for me to wake up and do something about it..........

So last September I decided to start my own blog. Initially I told no one except for my husband; after all I wasn’t sure how it would be received. I was clear that I was doing this for me. I had no expectations that anyone would even read it! But as time passed blogging became an outlet for me, a form of cheap therapy, and a way of sharing my deepest thoughts together with some of my passions. My outlook on life changed and I became more confident. As a result I felt brave enough to do things outside of my comfort zone. I shocked myself by joining a local craft group although I am all thumbs. I even picked up sewing. As I reached out via my blog, so many others reached back out to me. I was amazed by the community that formed, the fact that I could develop such strong connections with people, many of whom I would probably never ever meet in real life. These days I no longer resist spending time alone or experience periods of intense loneliness. In just a few months I have become a happier person and although my work is still important to me, it no longer defines me. For all of this I should thank my grandmother, as it was her passing that allowed me to finally start living.

Many thanks again to Caribbean Princess for featuring here today. My blog for Caribbean Princess; "Don't miss what makes you who you are" is here
 

If you are interested in blog swapping then the details are here.